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One day I will run a trashy tabloid. Until then, this will have to suffice.

Friday, May 27, 2005


-- The never-ending Lohan Clan circus continues to go `round and `round. The latest has child-ingenue Lindsay Lohan's dad, Michael, convicted Friday for a smorgasbord of crimes. Newsday says Nassau County Court in Long Island has sentenced him to 1 1/3 to 4 years in prison for assaulting his brother-in-law with a shoe at a family gathering; DUI; and aggravated driving without a license. Lohan, 45, had pleaded with Judge Claire Weinberg to send him to rehab instead. Lohan pere did win one point: The judge refused to sign an order of protection filed against him by his estranged wife, Dinah, on behalf of Lindsay that would have barred dad from contact with his daughter. Weinberg said that since Lindsay is 18, she has to file one herself. Dina's own order of protection was continued. -- So where does winning a $1 mil "Survivor: Palau'' jackpot take you? If you're Tom Westman, it's, well, back to work. The New York Daily News says two weeks after raking in the dough, the 41-year-old firefighter is back to work at Brooklyn's Ladder 108 firehouse. -- Janice Dickinson, the self-described world's first supermodel, who went from being high on drugs to being high on her well-endowed ego, has left the UPN reality show ``America's Next Top Model.'' British `60s belle Twiggy will replace her, joining judges Tyra Banks, photog Nigel Barker and runway expert (they pay you for that?) J. Alexander. -- Talking about being high, Ozzy Osbourne is celebrating some anniversaries: one year of sobriety and 10 years of that monster-mash music circus, Ozzfest. So what gets the beloved reality show patriarch pumped these days? Working out. As in exercising: ``I get a normal endorphin; it's as good as any drug,'' he said. ``I'm addicted to (that) and being yelled at by my wife.'' [Philadelphia Inquirer]


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